The Ballad of
Johnnie Sands

This is an "old family airedale", inherited from Bill ("Uncle Precious") Sischo upon condition that it be treated with the respect and tenderness that it so richly deserves.

Hear it sung.

A man whose name was Johnnie Sands
    Had married Betty Hague;
And though she brought him gold and lands
    She proved a terrible plague,
For Oh! she was a scolding wife,
    Full of caprice and whim.
He said that he was tired of life ...
        And she was tired of him
        And she was tired of him
        And she was tired of him!

Said he one day, "I'll drown myself
    The river runs below!"
Said she, "Pray do, you silly elf,
    I've wished it long ago!"
"I'll stand upon the brink," said he,
    "Do you run down the hill,
And push me in with all your might!"
        Said she, "My love, I will!"
        Said she, "My love, I will!"
        Said she, "My love, I will!"

"For fear that I should courage lack
    and try to save my life,
Pray tie my hands behind my back."
    "I will," replied his wife.
She tied them well, as you may think,
    And when securely done,
"Now stand," said she, "upon the brink,
        And I'll prepare to run!
        And I'll prepare to run!
        And I'll prepare to run!"

All down the hill his loving wife
    Now sped with all her force
To push him in—he stepped aside,
    And she fell in, of course.
Now, dashing, splashing like a fish,
    "Oh, save me, Johnnie Sands!"
"I can't, my dear, though much I wish:
        For you have tied my hands!
        For you have tied my hands!
        For you have tied my hands!" 

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